AYAHUASCA
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Ayahuasca Entity Possession – A Case Study
Recently, I have heard about two cases of entity attachments as a result of participating in "medicine journeys." Both cases involved embracing/calling in a seemingly benevolent "Angel" and "Spirit Guide," but it was a malevolent entity in disguise.
These hostile forces can also appear as a "Pleiadian", "Jesus," "Virgin Mary," etc., and adjust to the belief system of the person they want to tag/attach to.
This is a classical case of a "Trap of Agreement."
They need your consent to enter, even if it's manipulated consent via shapeshifting and/or appealing to your wishful thinking, wounds, and ego, trying to make you feel "special."
I'm NOT saying that ALL medicine plants are bad or that working with them automatically results in an entity attachment [nor do I hold the dogmatic fundamentalist medieval Christian idea that Shamanism is "demonic."]
It's not black and white. I have worked with many of them myself in the past. For context and nuance, read my extensive article linked at the bottom.
However, I have seen an increase in these interferences over the years, as if the "medicine world" has become hijacked by occult forces. It's a side effect of the popularity, the rise of New Age neo-shamanism, spiritual bypassing, greed, looking for shortcuts and "peak experiences," and most people having no idea what they get themselves into.
If you don't understand occult laws and engage in these "ceremonies" without any prior psycho-spiritual work and grounded awareness, you play hyper-dimensional "Russian Roulette."
It reminds me of what William Chittick, translator of the works of the great Sufi Shaykh Ibn al-’Arabi, wrote:
“Nowadays, most people interested in spirituality desire the “experience,” though they may call what they are after intimate communion with God.
Those familiar with the standards and norms of spiritual experience set down by disciplined paths like Sufism are usually appalled at the way Westerners seize upon any apparition from the domain outside of normal consciousness as a manifestation of the “spiritual.”
In fact, there are innumerable realms in the unseen world, some of them far more dangerous than the worst jungles of the visible world. Al-Arabi himself said:
So preserve yourselves, my brothers, from the calamities of this place, for distinguishing it is extremely difficult! Souls find it sweet, and then within it, they are duped since they become completely enamored of it.”
and Sri Aurobindo:
“To say that all light is good is as if you said that all water is good – or even that all clear or transparent water is good: it would not be true. One must see what is the nature of the light or where it comes from or what is in it, before one can say that it is the true Light.
False lights exist and misleading lustres, lower lights too that belong to the being’s inferior reaches. One must therefore be on one’s guard and distinguish; the true discrimination has to come by growth of the psychic feeling and a purified mind and experience.
The word “Appearances” refers to the forms they take in order to rule the world, forms often false and always incarnating falsehood, sometimes pseudo-divine.
Often, representing themselves as divine powers, they mislead, give erring suggestions and impulsions and pervert the inner life.”
----------------
What follows is an excerpt from my article "Altered States of Entrapment: The Plant Medicine Manipulation" (written in 2018) about a case of an ayahuasca entity possession and a ceremony gone wrong:
In 2016, I was working with someone who was dealing with an entity he took on after an ayahuasca ceremony. It’s the most severe type of possession (not merely an entity attachment situation) I have ever seen with a client.
The entity literally took control of his body. As I was working/processing with him via Skype, the entity was interfering with our session, putting him into a spasm, choking him, etc..
This usually intensified when his girlfriend (who was present with him) and I were empowering him. I provided him with tools to work with and told him that the entity had no power over him.
He had been dealing with this entity possession for about six months, and it was basically destroying his life. The entity had made him almost starve to death at one point because “it” told him that avoiding eating would be good for him.
As a result, he had to be hospitalized after becoming extremely weak and losing way too much weight. He also had to get stomach surgery since his body wouldn’t even accept/absorb food anymore.
After his stay at the hospital, the doctors tried to put him on strong psychiatric drugs because they had diagnosed him as mentally insane (both psychotic and schizophrenic). They even tried to institutionalize him and put him into a psychiatric hospital. There had also been suicide attempts triggered by the entity.
Thankfully, because of the strong support of his girlfriend (a true warrior woman), he rejected it all, and they fled to Mexico, looking for alternative help (because he was NOT crazy or insane, despite the labels that modern psychiatry tried to affix to him).
Putting him on drugs and into a mental institution would have been the end of him. The entity constantly injected thought loops into him, telling him that he’s just a monkey on strings and had no personal power and that “it” could do what it wanted with him. Sometimes, the entity spoke through him (and it was clear during those moments that it was not “him” speaking).
It kept draining his life force and feeding off of all the fear and anxiety it instilled in him, even using his own body to punch himself, etc. – and that is just a few insights into what he was dealing with…there is way more I cannot share for privacy reasons.
After he and his girlfriend came across my article “Reflections on Ayahuasca, Psychedelics, Marijuana, and a Critical Look at the Psychedelic Movement,” they contacted me because the article helped to put his experience into context, and he felt relieved.
After establishing a connection with him, we both determined that he had taken on the entity at an ayahuasca ceremony that was held by a well-known shaman at a well-known ayahuasca center (within that “community”) in Iquitos, which is even recommended by a well-known “leader” in the ayahuasca scene/psychedelic movement.
In fact, he found out about this shaman through a website where this popular ayahuasca advocate spoke highly about him. The way he took on the entity was a perfect example of a “trap of agreement” [key concept!] scenario, wherein this entity appeared in his ayahuasca vision/experience as a “spirit guide” or “angel”. It wasn’t threatening at all, and he innocently/naively invited it in.
There are more disturbing things surrounding this incident, especially with regard to the people involved and the people who run this ayahuasca center (including alcohol abuse by the “shaman”), which showed strong signs of dark shamanism at work. It seems very likely that he got “entity-tagged” by the shaman in order to keep him “sick” so that he would come back for more “treatments.”
This is no different than a western doctor keeping his patients sick or addicted to pharmaceuticals so that they become dependent upon “scripts” for Big Pharma products. There are many tales of jungle doctors making such arrangements with hyperdimensional forces in order to obtain more worldly power and influence.
With the help of his girlfriend, I was able to get him back into his body, give him some tools to work with (in relation to communicating to the entity, not giving in to the fear tactics and thought injections), and most importantly, empower him.
His girlfriend recorded the Skype session and sent it to his family. It helped them to open up to this topic and move past their perception of him as being “psychotic”. The couple flew back home to Canada, and he has received the support of his family without the threat of getting institutionalized.
At that point, he began trying a lot of “modalities” that didn’t do anything, including a Holographic Kinetics session that didn’t help (which is a good modality for clearing entities, generally speaking, but also not a “fix-all,” =, in my experience). In fact, the HK practitioner – couldn’t finish the session since this case was way “out of her league,” so to speak.
This kind of ‘abdication of care’ is also due to a lack of experience (and sometimes resourcefulness) on the part of the facilitator, and it also depends on their level of being/awareness and how much the practitioner has done enough inner psych-spiritual work to clear any trauma and shadow aspects within him/herself to connect to Self-energy to stay grounded and embodied. Being in SELF is the ONLUY place no entity can touch. Just “learning” a modality is not enough.
This level of parasitic takeover was also something that could not be removed with one session. I was working with him for about a month, and the therapy involved many hours over Skype. What I shared here is only a fraction of his story. But help was on the way, and we found someone who could assist him.
I got my Peruvian friend Fred Clarke Alvarez involved, as he is very aware of many such cases occurring in Peru (and basically all over the world wherever ayahuasca is “served” these days), which many people have no idea about). Usually, these kinds of cases are being suppressed, and they happen far more often than people are aware of.
Obviously, there was only so much I was able to do with Skype calls, and he needed hands-on help from a qualified and experienced practitioner who understood what was really going on. Our direct in-person sessions were the tipping point in his journey back to personal sovereignty.
I recently talked to him. He’s doing much better and is able to have a normal life again, but there is still work needed for full re-integration—most importantly, healing/clearing the entry points where this entity entered, which involved somatic psycho-spiritual trauma and shadow work. Once he has healed himself fully, he will share his story in depth, potentially even writing a book about the process. This is his initiation right now.
What is very important to point out is that during the entire healing journey, he didn’t fall into the victim/blame trap but instead took full responsibility for what had happened to him, owning up to his own blindspots, wounds, and shortcomings that got him into the situation (as I was able to provide mirroring as well in that regard).
That attitude/mind state (of not getting caught in the victim/blame spiral) empowered him and helped him heal, for entities feed off of the victim/blame frequency projections and want us to become stuck within them. All there are are lessons, constantly.
Read the full article here:
- Altered States of Entrapment: The Plant Medicine Manipulation
https://veilofreality.com/2018/02/24/altered-states-entrapment-plant-medicine-manipulation/
Ayahuasca Entity Possession – A Case Study
Recently, I have heard about two cases of entity attachments as a result of participating in "medicine journeys." Both cases involved embracing/calling in a seemingly benevolent "Angel" and "Spirit Guide," but it was a malevolent entity in disguise.
These hostile forces can also appear as a "Pleiadian", "Jesus," "Virgin Mary," etc., and adjust to the belief system of the person they want to tag/attach to.
This is a classical case of a "Trap of Agreement."
They need your consent to enter, even if it's manipulated consent via shapeshifting and/or appealing to your wishful thinking, wounds, and ego, trying to make you feel "special."
I'm NOT saying that ALL medicine plants are bad or that working with them automatically results in an entity attachment [nor do I hold the dogmatic fundamentalist medieval Christian idea that Shamanism is "demonic."]
It's not black and white. I have worked with many of them myself in the past. For context and nuance, read my extensive article linked at the bottom.
However, I have seen an increase in these interferences over the years, as if the "medicine world" has become hijacked by occult forces. It's a side effect of the popularity, the rise of New Age neo-shamanism, spiritual bypassing, greed, looking for shortcuts and "peak experiences," and most people having no idea what they get themselves into.
If you don't understand occult laws and engage in these "ceremonies" without any prior psycho-spiritual work and grounded awareness, you play hyper-dimensional "Russian Roulette."
It reminds me of what William Chittick, translator of the works of the great Sufi Shaykh Ibn al-’Arabi, wrote:
“Nowadays, most people interested in spirituality desire the “experience,” though they may call what they are after intimate communion with God.
Those familiar with the standards and norms of spiritual experience set down by disciplined paths like Sufism are usually appalled at the way Westerners seize upon any apparition from the domain outside of normal consciousness as a manifestation of the “spiritual.”
In fact, there are innumerable realms in the unseen world, some of them far more dangerous than the worst jungles of the visible world. Al-Arabi himself said:
So preserve yourselves, my brothers, from the calamities of this place, for distinguishing it is extremely difficult! Souls find it sweet, and then within it, they are duped since they become completely enamored of it.”
and Sri Aurobindo:
“To say that all light is good is as if you said that all water is good – or even that all clear or transparent water is good: it would not be true. One must see what is the nature of the light or where it comes from or what is in it, before one can say that it is the true Light.
False lights exist and misleading lustres, lower lights too that belong to the being’s inferior reaches. One must therefore be on one’s guard and distinguish; the true discrimination has to come by growth of the psychic feeling and a purified mind and experience.
The word “Appearances” refers to the forms they take in order to rule the world, forms often false and always incarnating falsehood, sometimes pseudo-divine.
Often, representing themselves as divine powers, they mislead, give erring suggestions and impulsions and pervert the inner life.”
----------------
What follows is an excerpt from my article "Altered States of Entrapment: The Plant Medicine Manipulation" (written in 2018) about a case of an ayahuasca entity possession and a ceremony gone wrong:
In 2016, I was working with someone who was dealing with an entity he took on after an ayahuasca ceremony. It’s the most severe type of possession (not merely an entity attachment situation) I have ever seen with a client.
The entity literally took control of his body. As I was working/processing with him via Skype, the entity was interfering with our session, putting him into a spasm, choking him, etc..
This usually intensified when his girlfriend (who was present with him) and I were empowering him. I provided him with tools to work with and told him that the entity had no power over him.
He had been dealing with this entity possession for about six months, and it was basically destroying his life. The entity had made him almost starve to death at one point because “it” told him that avoiding eating would be good for him.
As a result, he had to be hospitalized after becoming extremely weak and losing way too much weight. He also had to get stomach surgery since his body wouldn’t even accept/absorb food anymore.
After his stay at the hospital, the doctors tried to put him on strong psychiatric drugs because they had diagnosed him as mentally insane (both psychotic and schizophrenic). They even tried to institutionalize him and put him into a psychiatric hospital. There had also been suicide attempts triggered by the entity.
Thankfully, because of the strong support of his girlfriend (a true warrior woman), he rejected it all, and they fled to Mexico, looking for alternative help (because he was NOT crazy or insane, despite the labels that modern psychiatry tried to affix to him).
Putting him on drugs and into a mental institution would have been the end of him. The entity constantly injected thought loops into him, telling him that he’s just a monkey on strings and had no personal power and that “it” could do what it wanted with him. Sometimes, the entity spoke through him (and it was clear during those moments that it was not “him” speaking).
It kept draining his life force and feeding off of all the fear and anxiety it instilled in him, even using his own body to punch himself, etc. – and that is just a few insights into what he was dealing with…there is way more I cannot share for privacy reasons.
After he and his girlfriend came across my article “Reflections on Ayahuasca, Psychedelics, Marijuana, and a Critical Look at the Psychedelic Movement,” they contacted me because the article helped to put his experience into context, and he felt relieved.
After establishing a connection with him, we both determined that he had taken on the entity at an ayahuasca ceremony that was held by a well-known shaman at a well-known ayahuasca center (within that “community”) in Iquitos, which is even recommended by a well-known “leader” in the ayahuasca scene/psychedelic movement.
In fact, he found out about this shaman through a website where this popular ayahuasca advocate spoke highly about him. The way he took on the entity was a perfect example of a “trap of agreement” [key concept!] scenario, wherein this entity appeared in his ayahuasca vision/experience as a “spirit guide” or “angel”. It wasn’t threatening at all, and he innocently/naively invited it in.
There are more disturbing things surrounding this incident, especially with regard to the people involved and the people who run this ayahuasca center (including alcohol abuse by the “shaman”), which showed strong signs of dark shamanism at work. It seems very likely that he got “entity-tagged” by the shaman in order to keep him “sick” so that he would come back for more “treatments.”
This is no different than a western doctor keeping his patients sick or addicted to pharmaceuticals so that they become dependent upon “scripts” for Big Pharma products. There are many tales of jungle doctors making such arrangements with hyperdimensional forces in order to obtain more worldly power and influence.
With the help of his girlfriend, I was able to get him back into his body, give him some tools to work with (in relation to communicating to the entity, not giving in to the fear tactics and thought injections), and most importantly, empower him.
His girlfriend recorded the Skype session and sent it to his family. It helped them to open up to this topic and move past their perception of him as being “psychotic”. The couple flew back home to Canada, and he has received the support of his family without the threat of getting institutionalized.
At that point, he began trying a lot of “modalities” that didn’t do anything, including a Holographic Kinetics session that didn’t help (which is a good modality for clearing entities, generally speaking, but also not a “fix-all,” =, in my experience). In fact, the HK practitioner – couldn’t finish the session since this case was way “out of her league,” so to speak.
This kind of ‘abdication of care’ is also due to a lack of experience (and sometimes resourcefulness) on the part of the facilitator, and it also depends on their level of being/awareness and how much the practitioner has done enough inner psych-spiritual work to clear any trauma and shadow aspects within him/herself to connect to Self-energy to stay grounded and embodied. Being in SELF is the ONLUY place no entity can touch. Just “learning” a modality is not enough.
This level of parasitic takeover was also something that could not be removed with one session. I was working with him for about a month, and the therapy involved many hours over Skype. What I shared here is only a fraction of his story. But help was on the way, and we found someone who could assist him.
I got my Peruvian friend Fred Clarke Alvarez involved, as he is very aware of many such cases occurring in Peru (and basically all over the world wherever ayahuasca is “served” these days), which many people have no idea about). Usually, these kinds of cases are being suppressed, and they happen far more often than people are aware of.
Obviously, there was only so much I was able to do with Skype calls, and he needed hands-on help from a qualified and experienced practitioner who understood what was really going on. Our direct in-person sessions were the tipping point in his journey back to personal sovereignty.
I recently talked to him. He’s doing much better and is able to have a normal life again, but there is still work needed for full re-integration—most importantly, healing/clearing the entry points where this entity entered, which involved somatic psycho-spiritual trauma and shadow work. Once he has healed himself fully, he will share his story in depth, potentially even writing a book about the process. This is his initiation right now.
What is very important to point out is that during the entire healing journey, he didn’t fall into the victim/blame trap but instead took full responsibility for what had happened to him, owning up to his own blindspots, wounds, and shortcomings that got him into the situation (as I was able to provide mirroring as well in that regard).
That attitude/mind state (of not getting caught in the victim/blame spiral) empowered him and helped him heal, for entities feed off of the victim/blame frequency projections and want us to become stuck within them. All there are are lessons, constantly.
Read the full article here:
- Altered States of Entrapment: The Plant Medicine Manipulation
https://veilofreality.com/2018/02/24/altered-states-entrapment-plant-medicine-manipulation/
'David and Maegen -
Your deeply felt and honest story touches me. I experienced Ayahuasca once, in a Church of Sante Daime. There was no shaman, which was a missing key element between your story and mine. I would not repeat it as it was, though I took a valuable piece of wisdom from it, when the inner voice said, 'Embrace everything.' I wrote a poem from the experience, 'All is Everything'. I am open to another Ayahuasca ceremony, with a trusted shaman. May I post your story on my site, as it is?' ~ Gary
'Gary R. Smith - yes of course! ❤🙏' ~ David
Hello everyone - (Long post, heads up)
Finally took the plunge to experience Mother Ayahuasca.
Shes been calling me for some time.
My wife was going with the intention of healing severe childhood trauma which has plagued her with rage, anger and chronic illness for 35 of her 41 years, and I was going with the intention for clarity of purpose.
We did 3 ceremonies, back to back to back.
We just finished our retreat.
The experience is hard to put into words, but I'll do my best.
They had us all drink regular Aya the first night (Aya + Chacruna, which has the DMT)
The 2nd night they added 5 MEO DMT to the mix, as they did the 3rd night, in a stronger dose.
Night 1:
A key to this process is surrendering to the medicine and spirits as they enter. I did my best to "release" but felt myself anticipating her arrival. I then felt a quick rush and was shown this beautiful orchestration of colors, it looked like a beautiful machine that had this perfect rhythmic flow to it. I felt the message of "for this to work, you must release, surrender and flow". I understood, refocused on my breath and began to flow.
I then freakin blasted OFF. I shot up to this other dimension, and in front of me was this incredibly beautiful spirit of colors, it was huge and formless. It sent me the message "What do you want to know?"
Now my intention was around purpose. But in this state, you can truly only speak from the heart. I tried my best to stumble through my intention, but couldn't get it out. Then I cried out to her that all I truly want is my wife to be healed. I know this is supposed to be about me, but all I want in this universe is my wife's healing, weve tried everything for years and nothing has worked.
The form shifted , and I could tell it was looking at her, who was laying there next to me (going through her own thing)
Aya then said to me "I will give you this, I will heal her- however when i do this, you must take what you are taught and help heal my people, and heal the earth"
I understood and agreed immensely.
I feel bad about this next part, but again you cant control what you do in these states.
I actually lashed out at her. I said "WHY?? Why does she have to go through all this pain, all that suffering, why is it necessary?"
The beautiful colored form shifted again, and an incredibly bright white light came down, and answered me.
It told me "only through the years of pain, suffering, and agony of being sick, will you both truly appreciate and have gratitude for every single day of the rest of your lives when she is healed. Without great suffering, there is no great happiness. Without great sickness there is no great appreciation for health."
Mind. Blown.
I was then shot back to me seat in the ceremony circle.
When I came back I was curled over in the fetal position, apparently I was going through it , little to my knowledge lol
I sat back up and began to meditate, ready for the next lesson.
Then BOOM it blasted me off again, this time it was all just colors and angles, and I just recieved multiple random downloads.
1 - Part of my wife and Is purpose it to write a book about healing, they gave me the title. It will be called Maegical; A Story Of Healing
2- Plants are the key to healing and to life. It showed me a picture of the Holy Bible, and felt it was telling me to look for answers in there. (I later did and found LOTS of interesting verses about plant healing!)
3- Mother Earth is very much alive. We speak about Father God, who is very real, but we forget or disregard Mother Earth. She is alive, and is nurturing and needs to heal now more than ever.
My wife's first night was very different. She had a LOT of anxiety going into this because shes been through some pretty tough stuff.
She purged just a little, then passed out and fell asleep. She then slept for 7 hours. Which is insane - she hasn't slept for more than 3 hours in 30 years.
What we later found out, was Mother Aya was simply letting her rest, for the deep healing trainwreck that she went through in night 2....
Night 2:
This night was all about Maegen.
She was so hesitant to do it, because of the stronger dose and knowing what kind of darkness she had to face. But I cant put into words how proud I am of her courage and strength.
The Shaman was aware of Maegens situation, so out of about 30 people, he chose her and 3 others for "Curacion" or a specific healing treatment in the circle of the ceremony in the middle of it.
*Disclaimer* After doing lots of research and thinking about what occured in night two, we truly believe that she had a dark entitiy inside her, that came to her through her trauma. I can go much deeper into why, but I want to focus this post around the ceremonys.
As the day went on, Maegens anxiety got worse and worse about the upcoming ceremony. She knew she would have to go back to all the dark abuse and process it, and she has unfortunately had abuse of all kinds since she was 7. So there was a LOT to process.
About 20 minutes before the start of it, she wanted to back out. The shaman came to her, and said he would give her an extra layer of protection. I cant remember the name of it to save my life, it was some kind of fungus that he burned and put all around her body.
She decided to move forward.
I think the shaman and his wife knew this was going to be an intense ceremony for her. They placed her right next to his wife and myself. You arent supposed to touch anyone during the ceremony, but the shamans wife told me i could hold her hand during, so i knew something was up.
about 40 minutes into it it started. Maegen was right next to me, she grabbed her bucket, and the purging began. It was this unreal, intense, violent purging. It went on for almost an hour, every song the shaman sang brought more and more purging from her. she kept holding my hand super tight while filling her bucket with the black goo.
after that was done, she totally collapsed. She was alive, but barely.
Also- the CRAZY part about this, was I also took a heavy dose, my trip started, but I immediately sobered up about 40 minutes into it. It was clear that the medicine is just a conduit, Mother Aya and the spirits are truly the ones in charge. and my purpose that night was to be there for Maegen, I could feel it.
Once she collapsed, i put her head in my chest and she layed there for the next hour of the ceremony, completely passed out.
Then the Curacion started. They asked her to come to the middle, and she was too weak to move, so they told her to crawl if she had to, and I was not allowed to help her. she crawled to the center, and someone assisted in holding her. The shaman came over and started doing blessing after blessing and blowing tobacco on her, while singing songs that called each plants spirit in to specifically heal and release what was inside of her.
Then out of nowhere Maegen started sobbing. This was a deep, soulful loud sob ive never heard from any human, especially not her. She sobbed, and sobbed, and cried for the next 20 minutes. She later told me she was feeling and processing the deepest sorrow she had in her soul from her abuse as a child, to early adulthood, and adulthood. She said she felt like a child again up there.
During this time I KNEW it was good for her, but it was still so hard to witness. I held my rosary tight to myself, just continued to pray and affirm everything working out for her highest good and her healing.
When it was done they helped her back over to me, and she passed out for the rest of the ceremony.
I just held her, completely sober after injesting Aya and 5 MEO DMT, for the remaining hours of the ceremony.
After the ceremony I carried her to her bed, and she passed out completely.
Everyone reading this, I dont quite know how to put this into words, but when she woke up, she was a different person. She was the same person, but she was so much lighter. There was no tension in her conversations, she smiled easier. She says the anxiety shes carried with her all her life thats always been in her chest, is gone. The constant need to feel like she has to smoke weed just for some relief, was gone.
To witness my wifes healing, in front of my eyes, was the scariest but most beautiful thing ever.
I know this was an incredibly long post, but this really is the short version of the experience.
A few takeaways;
• God is the almighty father, but Mother Earth is very real, loves us, and needs protection and healing as well. I cant reitorate this enough.
• Unprocessed trauma will create sickness, disease, and everything inbetween. If youre dealing with this, start the path of finding how to process it. its scary but it will free you of your demons.
• If mother aya calls to you, GO.
• Please, eat more fruits and veggies. they are created for our health, and can truly be healing. I am looking forward to studying this more in relation to the Bible
• I know this sounds crazy, but the plants, trees, everything- they have spirits in them. They really do.
• Only through great suffering, can we know great joy. Only through experiencing sickness, can we truly appreciate good health.
• look for the signs on your journey, they are all around you. you are all divinely guided.
• Gods real, he loves you. Mother Earth is real, she loves you too. Hang in there.
Thanks for reading everyone, My wife and I have decided to fully take this path in our purpose, we will be continuing to study plant medicine, doing another Aya journey in 6 months, and moving towards Deitas to start learning about each plant spirit in Peru. We are very excited!
Peace and love
David and Maegen
Finally took the plunge to experience Mother Ayahuasca.
Shes been calling me for some time.
My wife was going with the intention of healing severe childhood trauma which has plagued her with rage, anger and chronic illness for 35 of her 41 years, and I was going with the intention for clarity of purpose.
We did 3 ceremonies, back to back to back.
We just finished our retreat.
The experience is hard to put into words, but I'll do my best.
They had us all drink regular Aya the first night (Aya + Chacruna, which has the DMT)
The 2nd night they added 5 MEO DMT to the mix, as they did the 3rd night, in a stronger dose.
Night 1:
A key to this process is surrendering to the medicine and spirits as they enter. I did my best to "release" but felt myself anticipating her arrival. I then felt a quick rush and was shown this beautiful orchestration of colors, it looked like a beautiful machine that had this perfect rhythmic flow to it. I felt the message of "for this to work, you must release, surrender and flow". I understood, refocused on my breath and began to flow.
I then freakin blasted OFF. I shot up to this other dimension, and in front of me was this incredibly beautiful spirit of colors, it was huge and formless. It sent me the message "What do you want to know?"
Now my intention was around purpose. But in this state, you can truly only speak from the heart. I tried my best to stumble through my intention, but couldn't get it out. Then I cried out to her that all I truly want is my wife to be healed. I know this is supposed to be about me, but all I want in this universe is my wife's healing, weve tried everything for years and nothing has worked.
The form shifted , and I could tell it was looking at her, who was laying there next to me (going through her own thing)
Aya then said to me "I will give you this, I will heal her- however when i do this, you must take what you are taught and help heal my people, and heal the earth"
I understood and agreed immensely.
I feel bad about this next part, but again you cant control what you do in these states.
I actually lashed out at her. I said "WHY?? Why does she have to go through all this pain, all that suffering, why is it necessary?"
The beautiful colored form shifted again, and an incredibly bright white light came down, and answered me.
It told me "only through the years of pain, suffering, and agony of being sick, will you both truly appreciate and have gratitude for every single day of the rest of your lives when she is healed. Without great suffering, there is no great happiness. Without great sickness there is no great appreciation for health."
Mind. Blown.
I was then shot back to me seat in the ceremony circle.
When I came back I was curled over in the fetal position, apparently I was going through it , little to my knowledge lol
I sat back up and began to meditate, ready for the next lesson.
Then BOOM it blasted me off again, this time it was all just colors and angles, and I just recieved multiple random downloads.
1 - Part of my wife and Is purpose it to write a book about healing, they gave me the title. It will be called Maegical; A Story Of Healing
2- Plants are the key to healing and to life. It showed me a picture of the Holy Bible, and felt it was telling me to look for answers in there. (I later did and found LOTS of interesting verses about plant healing!)
3- Mother Earth is very much alive. We speak about Father God, who is very real, but we forget or disregard Mother Earth. She is alive, and is nurturing and needs to heal now more than ever.
My wife's first night was very different. She had a LOT of anxiety going into this because shes been through some pretty tough stuff.
She purged just a little, then passed out and fell asleep. She then slept for 7 hours. Which is insane - she hasn't slept for more than 3 hours in 30 years.
What we later found out, was Mother Aya was simply letting her rest, for the deep healing trainwreck that she went through in night 2....
Night 2:
This night was all about Maegen.
She was so hesitant to do it, because of the stronger dose and knowing what kind of darkness she had to face. But I cant put into words how proud I am of her courage and strength.
The Shaman was aware of Maegens situation, so out of about 30 people, he chose her and 3 others for "Curacion" or a specific healing treatment in the circle of the ceremony in the middle of it.
*Disclaimer* After doing lots of research and thinking about what occured in night two, we truly believe that she had a dark entitiy inside her, that came to her through her trauma. I can go much deeper into why, but I want to focus this post around the ceremonys.
As the day went on, Maegens anxiety got worse and worse about the upcoming ceremony. She knew she would have to go back to all the dark abuse and process it, and she has unfortunately had abuse of all kinds since she was 7. So there was a LOT to process.
About 20 minutes before the start of it, she wanted to back out. The shaman came to her, and said he would give her an extra layer of protection. I cant remember the name of it to save my life, it was some kind of fungus that he burned and put all around her body.
She decided to move forward.
I think the shaman and his wife knew this was going to be an intense ceremony for her. They placed her right next to his wife and myself. You arent supposed to touch anyone during the ceremony, but the shamans wife told me i could hold her hand during, so i knew something was up.
about 40 minutes into it it started. Maegen was right next to me, she grabbed her bucket, and the purging began. It was this unreal, intense, violent purging. It went on for almost an hour, every song the shaman sang brought more and more purging from her. she kept holding my hand super tight while filling her bucket with the black goo.
after that was done, she totally collapsed. She was alive, but barely.
Also- the CRAZY part about this, was I also took a heavy dose, my trip started, but I immediately sobered up about 40 minutes into it. It was clear that the medicine is just a conduit, Mother Aya and the spirits are truly the ones in charge. and my purpose that night was to be there for Maegen, I could feel it.
Once she collapsed, i put her head in my chest and she layed there for the next hour of the ceremony, completely passed out.
Then the Curacion started. They asked her to come to the middle, and she was too weak to move, so they told her to crawl if she had to, and I was not allowed to help her. she crawled to the center, and someone assisted in holding her. The shaman came over and started doing blessing after blessing and blowing tobacco on her, while singing songs that called each plants spirit in to specifically heal and release what was inside of her.
Then out of nowhere Maegen started sobbing. This was a deep, soulful loud sob ive never heard from any human, especially not her. She sobbed, and sobbed, and cried for the next 20 minutes. She later told me she was feeling and processing the deepest sorrow she had in her soul from her abuse as a child, to early adulthood, and adulthood. She said she felt like a child again up there.
During this time I KNEW it was good for her, but it was still so hard to witness. I held my rosary tight to myself, just continued to pray and affirm everything working out for her highest good and her healing.
When it was done they helped her back over to me, and she passed out for the rest of the ceremony.
I just held her, completely sober after injesting Aya and 5 MEO DMT, for the remaining hours of the ceremony.
After the ceremony I carried her to her bed, and she passed out completely.
Everyone reading this, I dont quite know how to put this into words, but when she woke up, she was a different person. She was the same person, but she was so much lighter. There was no tension in her conversations, she smiled easier. She says the anxiety shes carried with her all her life thats always been in her chest, is gone. The constant need to feel like she has to smoke weed just for some relief, was gone.
To witness my wifes healing, in front of my eyes, was the scariest but most beautiful thing ever.
I know this was an incredibly long post, but this really is the short version of the experience.
A few takeaways;
• God is the almighty father, but Mother Earth is very real, loves us, and needs protection and healing as well. I cant reitorate this enough.
• Unprocessed trauma will create sickness, disease, and everything inbetween. If youre dealing with this, start the path of finding how to process it. its scary but it will free you of your demons.
• If mother aya calls to you, GO.
• Please, eat more fruits and veggies. they are created for our health, and can truly be healing. I am looking forward to studying this more in relation to the Bible
• I know this sounds crazy, but the plants, trees, everything- they have spirits in them. They really do.
• Only through great suffering, can we know great joy. Only through experiencing sickness, can we truly appreciate good health.
• look for the signs on your journey, they are all around you. you are all divinely guided.
• Gods real, he loves you. Mother Earth is real, she loves you too. Hang in there.
Thanks for reading everyone, My wife and I have decided to fully take this path in our purpose, we will be continuing to study plant medicine, doing another Aya journey in 6 months, and moving towards Deitas to start learning about each plant spirit in Peru. We are very excited!
Peace and love
David and Maegen