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by @JayBinderMM The Hidden Cause of Stress and How to Dissolve It By the end of this post you'll know the truth about stress, as well as the solution to eliminating it from your life whilst effortlessly performing at a higher level. Have you ever wondered why stress levels are worse than ever if "stress management" was the answer? What we're doing isn't working, but there is another way that no one has told you (because they don't know), and it's a permanent way that doesn't require "management". I've used this secret to completely eliminate stress from my life, regardless of running a big company, a wife with her own company, and the fact I have five kids (and no - we don't have a nanny or housekeeper). On top of that I perform much better as a CEO. You might think I'm naturally chill, but you'd be wrong - I used to be chronically stressed, and burned out. I tried everything to reduce stress whilst still high-achieving, including; therapy, meditation, CBT, ACT, medication, drugs, online programs (that promised results), supplements, exercise, breathing techniques, diets, and whatever else, but nothing "worked". I could attain a bit of relief in most cases, but not permanent, lasting, and unshakable peace. That nearly cost me big time when nine years ago my ambition and drive finally exceeded my stress threshold, and I nearly had a mental breakdown. Fast forward to now and I run a much bigger company (3,000 staff), but I have no stress, and I'm constantly at peace inside. More than that, I perform at least three times better, because I make fearless (but rational) decisions, and my mind is clear and uncompromised by negative emotions. How did I go from a near breakdown, to that? And, not just me, but clients, friends, and family I've worked with, too? It's an easy concept. During that breakdown, I realised something - if there's no physical threat, it's all in my mind. I was sitting in my car on the side of the road when I nearly had that mental breakdown. Where then, was the physical danger? Nowhere. It had to be happening in my mind, and not just a little bit, it all had to be happening in my mind. Where else could it be? But the issue is we're conditioned to believe the source of our stress is external to us, and not internal, so we've never had the mindset to look for and heal the sources of stress. If you look at research on the common causes of stress, you'll see things including finances, work, relationships, and parenting, but nothing about you. The problem of stress is always focused on the outside. This is why stress management doesn't really work, because it tries to manage or decrease exposure to external stressors rather than understand why you are getting stressed by them in the first place. If the external stressors were the problem, then everyone would have the same stress reaction to each individual external stressor. But why can one person be stressed by finances and another not? It's because they have different internal triggers from their past experiences. Consider an individual who saw their parent's immense pain from losing their life savings in a stock market crash, and it now causes them to overanalyse, overthink, and overreact to financial events. But then their friend who grew up with positive financial experiences isn't fussed by financial situations at all. The stressor is not your external circumstances - it's your internal conditioning from past events. In other words, your past experiences are creating your future reactions. This is human nature. It's how we learn. But whilst this is useful in most instances (we don't want to forget not to steal), in many instances its detrimental to our life. I had a coaching client, Ben, who's mother called him a disappointment once. From that moment, Ben unconsciously thought he was a disappointment and spent his life trying not to disappoint everyone, which caused chronic stress and exhaustion. So what should Ben do? Take medication? Exercise? Go on a retreat? Meditate 20 minutes a day? Go on a diet? Be 'in the now' more? The answer is clear - the sole solution is to dismantle the underlying story that he's a disappointment. By doing this, Ben shed his disempowering story of being a disappointment, stopped running around trying not to disappoint everyone, and his stress and exhaustion from that ceased. The magic in this is that when you heal the story inside, you permanently resolve the problem, and it will require no further "work" or effort on your part to be free from it. Effort is no longer required; your problem and the associated emotions simply vanish. To eliminate stress from your life you must look at and heal the inside. These are the steps I take to do that; 1. Recognise any negative emotions you feel. 2. Contain the emotions to yourself - do not blame the external. 3. Accept how you feel - do not reject any feelings. 4. Investigate where (and when) these feelings are coming from (the story). 5. Undo the story (lie) about yourself that you've discovered. 6. Live your life without the story. 7. Repeat until you have no negative stories (and negative feelings). It really is that simple to eliminate stress from your life, and live in a state of peace and ease regardless of what is going on around you. ___ Please re-post this if you found it helpful so more people can be set free from stress. Follow me @JayBinderMM if you want to master your mind, eliminate stress, and perform better (without sacrificing anything).
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