What does it mean to 'just be love'?
It's a lovely idea, evoking an image of a sage in flowing robes,
sitting in meditation pose, with a beneficent smile.
But just wait, until the meditator faces a challenge
in everyday life.... then is there still love?
Not to judge anyone, but just to consider those among us called spiritual leaders in our time. At the microphone, under the camera lights, all eyes on them, their words may sound profound and all heads nod yes. How are they off camera, stripped of an adoring audience, when something goes not as planned, do they actually live their wise and virtuous words?
So far, every author I've encountered lived lives not in alignment with their words. It seems a case of 'do as I say, not as I do.' I am no exception. For more than fifty years I have written of the higher human qualities, the noble virtues, of spiritual evolution and the oneness of all. Do I live it? Just ask my wife.
It is not for lack of intention that my actions fall short of my words. My god, how I've applied myself to live what I write! Even the neurological anomalies my body was born with (autism spectrum, misophonia, HSP) do not excuse my performance of behavior.
The pain of this discrepancy is only mildly eased by philosophizing that 'there must be a higher purpose' and 'so long as there is learning, there are no mistakes.'
No mistakes, perhaps, but also there is no re-doing of the actions which hindsight reveals to have been 'mistaken', that is, not useful towards an intended purpose such as a loving relationship.
Only in the past year have the previous 66 begun to form a larger picture I can abide. It is the picture of 'progress of the Soul', which by having no greater skill I've turned into quite the grueling trek. Still, the very idea of actual progress made at all is well-timed flask of water to a parched traveler. It gives refreshment, and motivation to carry on.
This week I gazed over a new vista, to the acceptance of for me a bold idea, that 'I am the Lord, the deep of consciousness.... and, I am a Present Moment Sphere, an individuated unit of human awareness, a conscious creator giving form to the formless over the vision of the Third Eye, imbued by me with feeling.'
This idea arose out of reading the words of another, who likens the Lord to the well of being, the subconscious, also called in Scripture the Father, and the consciously creating individual to the Son, who proclaimed to be one with the Father. Yes, it feels right. Now, can I implement it? Can these be more than words to me, in my life?
Inspired so, I re-wrote my daily meditation. We will see.
[The pic is of a crystal ball on a bowl of amethyst crystals, which are part of the meditation mentioned above.]