USEFUL DETACHMENT

Word count: 220

Detachment from certain things -- such as controlling how it has to be -- makes one's life experience flow more smoothly, freely and expansively, I've found.

Whatever needs to change will change with or without the participation of my personality.

In general, outcomes are more rounded and complete when changes occur from beyond my personality, from the non-separation of the True Self perspective.

There are exceptions to every rule, except when there aren't. Detachment of the personality can be less useful towards an experience of wholeness when it is from such things as caring, kindness or empathy.

In my experience, it is highly useful towards the experience of wholeness to detach from thoughts of the past and future, from defense of a position or action, and from righteousness when the personality feels wronged.

Grounding in the True Self when possible -- that is, when the personality isn't too engaged -- has been the most effectual for a more expansive experience.

It is possible to expand one's awareness to include both the One Being (True Self) and the individuality in the same Present Moment.

The art is in detaching and grounding skillfully according to the more complete perspective of the True Self, the cosmos of consciousness, the essence and energy of Love for Love Itself.

How do you feel about this?

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COMMENTS

​Mike Castro
This is great. Useful self-knowledge lucidly shared; practical applications subtly encouraged. A nice short teaching-text to read at least twice right away and keep for future reference 🙏
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Love the phrase "there are exceptions to every rule; except when there aren't !". I'm guessing perhaps you didn't coin that, but I've never heard it expressed that way before 😎

Gary
Not that credit matters, but I humbly acknowledge coining the phrase... and admit to some pride of cleverness. Humans!

Thank you for your gracious comment, Mike.

Sandra Brown
In the last few years, in very painful ways, I have needed to detach completely. This means from children, grandchildren, husband, friends and siblings! Detaching does not mean not loving. To my Self it means not depending on them or anything outside of myself to make me happy and Whole! I have surrendered all the roles I Am playing to the Flow of Love I Am!❤️🙏🌹There is only one!

​Faith Cohen Kaminsky
Strangely angry at the concept of self surrender for the greater good. While the needs of the many outweighs the one in may cases, the skill of the self is surrendered in your example. Without individual skill, I see no point in engaging at all.

​Gary
Thank you for responding honestly. Dialogue may help clear this up. If it sounds like I suggest surrendering the self for the greater good, or that the skill of the self is surrendered, I have not communicated well.

As a metaphor, there is a cone of human awareness within the borderless field of consciousness.

Within this cone, individual awareness constricts and expands. Constricted is aware only of the separated self. Expanding up the cone broadens perspective and integrates the 'other'.

When I detach from constricting energies such as possessiveness for example, my experience of life can flow more freely.

When I ground my awareness and identity in the One Being True Self, my behavior, quality of actions, and feeling of well-being are all expanded and made more spacious. Without trying, I become more magnanimous, compassionate and egalitarian. My individual skills are enhanced by the more complete perspective of expanded awareness.

Faith Cohen Kaminsky
I understand better, thank you -- and feel free to include my comment where you like.

I suppose the question for myself then is what place in the cone of awareness is comfortable for me to sit at any given time.

Taking all factors around me into account, the flow I feel is in my desire to move up or down the cone in any setting whilst maintaining my individual ideals/integrity.

​Gary
Yes, from my perspective there is no pressure to move up the cone!

When I accept that I am the One Being in divine duality, this lifetime has purpose enough by giving an experience of individuality. That takes off all pressure to accomplish. Whatever choices made, from wherever in the cone, the whole experience serves the purpose.

Karen Thomas
​I have stopped fighting and started relaxing more, I realize now that all the tension of having to change/ fix things was not helping and it is okay to just let some things work out themselves. I am not God I can’t change fate, when I accepted that, it was such a weight off my soul. I can breathe now.

​Brian Joyner
I just got yelled at (perverbally speaking) by the powers that be, I was clenching for the fall, and reminded me lifes a river. Mellow out, open that heart chakra back up and have a day of it floating in a inner tube and a six pack. 🤣 🤔 and that word count... yesterday was a 222 day for me... started with weighing myself 🤣

Gisela Klose
The simple belief of good or bad is judgement. It is what it is.

As babies and right through our lives we're engaging into control dramas. To stop it, we need to stop our own control dramas. It's an inside job. Only than the need for control can stop. First, however, you need to be aware of it.

Now, when control can stop, judgement can stop, this is when the hurt can stop. You already have detached from that because the need for it isn't there anymore.

You can only control what's inside yourself: your thinking.

Personalities are built over time and a simple truth is: you get to decide who you really want to be. And, the brain can change itself - you can change your thinking.

It does not matter what happens to you, this does not define you, but it matters what your decision you make about this, because that defines you.
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Once you're aware what need has to be fulfilled, your emotional trigger, you can control that and with a clear mind you can make decisions. Personal attachment is a choice and it usually hurts.

​Gary
Yes, and all of this can be helpful when applied with awareness.

There is a clear distinction between having knowledge of the inside job, and participating with awareness on the inside job.

Knowledge can separate me from what I know.

Some say be an observer, yet that is not the ultimate either.

The ultimate for me is the felt experience of non-separation.

Yes, each person decides who they are, by unconscious default, by the program of conditioning, or by conscious choice.

I choose to know and experience myself as the One Being in divine duality.

Jaclyn Smith
Totally with you on this Gary and have really noticed how the awen can flow so beautifully when I relinquish any control. Maybe it’s my Aquarius energy that helps me to detach, and sometimes it’s considered cold, but my soul knows when it needs to make space for something new to flow through 🌀

Sonia Aswegan
For me, the ego is what you are calling the personality. For me, I think the portion of the Oneness that makes up my soul—or your soul—is our personality. It is what makes me Me, or that makes you, You. To be detached from outcomes is simply letting go of how something plays out, knowing that things will be all right, that people will be all right, even if I’m not controlling it. I remember hearing a speaker years ago saying that everything she ever let go of had claw marks all over it. Humorous, but really a great visual of how hard it is for us to believe and accept that things will be safe, even without our trying to control the outcome. Letting go is, indeed, turning the outcome over to the Universe, to God, to Source. Letting go is staying in the present and loving and feeling grateful for every little (and big) joy as it flies by. So yes, I agree that detachment (letting go of outcomes) is the path to peace, serenity and knowing deep inside that every little thing will be all right, as Bob Marley used to sing.