MYSTERY - MY STORY 001

An on-going narrative.
PART ONE

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As a child, I was drawn to the mysteries of my sensory experience, and to the mystical feelings which ran deeper.

Rolling a snowball larger than myself, I carved a tunnel into its center and was transfixed by the sunlight interacting with the crystals of ice. The deeper feeling was a sense of that hollow, hallowed, inner space glowing with light.

The Catholic Mass, recited in Latin by a priest in robes, the wafting of incense smoke, the chalice pulled from the tabernacle at the alter, the transubstantiation of the Eucharist and wine into the body and blood of Christ, all spoke of something un-named in my inner world.

I did not realize until much later in life how set apart I was by the tendency of those on the autism spectrum to live in their own world.

Nor did I have a word for my hyper-sensitivity towards common, normal human noises such as eating, drinking, crinkling wrappers, and whistling, which triggered an automatic reaction of disgust, revulsion, emotional anguish and pain. As far as I knew, I was utterly unique in this regard.

In my thirties and forties, I made concerted effort to get to the root of the issue which was playing so much havoc with my life. I went to more than thirty practitioners of conventional and alternative medicine, and none of them had a clue.

It was not until I was in my sixties that I learned of the word recently coined by the professional world to give a name to what is now termed a neurological disorder - misophonia. I sometimes call it an interesting anomaly, and it certainly has been a primary shaping factor in my life, especially in relationships.

Both autism and misophonia have guided me to live in my own world, where I developed ways of seeing things that are not generally found in the mainstream.

In my teens, the anguish turned to seething anger, and my attraction to the mystical turned into a quest to know God and the 'highest truth.'

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Today I ordered this book, found by my dear life partner and wife, who has suffered much on my side.

​Note: There is no longer a medical diagnosis called Asperger's Syndrome. That term has been replaced by 'High Functioning Autism.'

22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome

​Although having Asperger Syndrome (AS) can make romantic relations difficult, having a fulfilling relationship with an Asperger man is certainly not impossible. A woman in love with a man with AS may interpret his difficulties with communication and socialization as a lack of interest in the relationship.

He may vacillate between being gentle and caring to seeming cold and distant. She may find his behaviour hard to understand, resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation, and confusion.

This book shows how to overcome these difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner. From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome.

Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfilment both individually and as a couple.

​This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where one partner has Asperger's Syndrome.
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Chalice by Autom