POSTED BY ME IN THE 'ALTERNATIVE FAMILIES IN PORTUGAL 🇵🇹 GROUP
(regarding intentional community living)
Each person reading has their own unique situation, I imagine, as we are each unique individuals — none better or worse, all special but no more so than any other, just different and distinct.
So my journey is what it is, and shared here for reasons beyond my knowing. Only small pieces of my story can be shared in a space like this and in written form it will never be complete.
Awareness of large pieces of my 'situation' only dawned in my 60s a few years ago, as I realized aspects of neurological anomalies which include ASD1 (Asperger's), misophonia and HSP. Diagnoses are never carved in stone but sometimes it is useful to accept them. Who I am is something other than my neurology, yet the physical state is part of me here and now — and these conditions, as challenges and opportunities, have greatly shaped my lifetime experience especially in relationships.
Because of the hardship I've unwillingly imposed on those near and dear to me, I decided to express more freely these aspects of my situation before entering new relationships such as friendships in community. That sharing has not always brought improvement, but the choices for more openness and understanding in all directions seem greater.
For example, only recently I've accepted that my Asperger's brain is under-developed in social areas. Despite my faith saying all is possible, and my never giving up on going beyond the limitations of my brain, with some sadness I accept that I am currently not capable of the same emotional connection others feel and find essential. My writing and behaviors sometimes seem odd and uncomfortable to others such as in tendencies to be overly logical, task-oriented and to be overwhelmed by too much sensory stimulation.
When considering any type of intentional community living, putting this part of my situation on the table seems appropriate. There are other parts of course as we humans if nothing else are complex beings.
This is not meant to generate response, yet I would read the thoughts and stories of others with interest.
The photo was taken from the balcony of my rental house on Faial island, the Azores, a few days ago. Yesterday we had brilliant sunshine. The illustration with it speaks of my vision for community living in the new earth (more as a feeling than literally), artist unknown.
The Peace Of I
Being Asperger's and HSP is a super power and although we don't fit the norm.. we do and can feel more than the average person and we do things with our whole heart.
Try not to be discouraged.. you're perfectly imperfect and exactly what is needed in the world because you're a unique and beautiful individual.
What you say is true. I feel deeply but am emotionally undemonstrative. That lack of emotional connection with others has been painful for many in my life. Of course I don't blame myself or anyone, and it helps to have the recent understanding and acceptance of my neurological state.